LifeAfterDx--Diabetes Uncensored

A internet journal from one of the first T1 Diabetics to use continuous glucose monitoring. Copyright 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016

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Location: New Mexico, United States

Hi! I’m William “Lee” Dubois (called either Wil or Lee, depending what part of the internet you’re on). I’m a diabetes columnist and the author of four books about diabetes that have collectively won 16 national and international book awards. (Hey, if you can’t brag about yourself on your own blog, where can you??) I have the great good fortune to pen the edgy Dear Abby-style advice column every Saturday at Diabetes Mine; write the Diabetes Simplified column for dLife; and am one of the ShareCare diabetes experts. My work also appears in Diabetic Living and Diabetes Self-Management magazines. In addition to writing, I’ve spent the last half-dozen years running the diabetes education program for a rural non-profit clinic in the mountains of New Mexico. Don’t worry, I’ll get some rest after the cure. LifeAfterDx is my personal home base, where I get to say what and how I feel about diabetes and… you know… life, free from the red pens of editors (all of whom I adore, of course!).

Friday, September 26, 2008

A rose by any other name….

Every man is a man
I want you all to understand…
Every man is a man
In his own style and fashion…

--from Every Man is a Man by Johnny Osbourne

So what the heck is a metrosexual anyway? I asked Deb’s slightly-slutty-but-sweet friend Sandra (triple-S behind her back). Sandra is the data bank of all things carnal.

“Oh, that’s a guy who takes forever to get ready for a date. He can be gay or straight, but he’d be really into his hair and clothes. He’d be looking at himself as he walked by a mirror rather than looking at his partner.”

So I’m in no danger of being a metrosexual.

“Not in this lifetime,” giggled SSS.

I was getting an update on her latest escapades, as I hadn’t seen her for about six weeks. With Sandra this is kind of like Dog Years. A lot can happen in her universe in a short time. Hey, I forgot to ask, are you gay or straight at the moment?

“I’m back to guys, that thing with Tina didn’t really work out too well. By the way, what did you really think of her?”

Well, not to be too crude, but if you’re going to the trouble of dating another woman, I think you should have at least chosen a pretty one. The real truth, I think, is that Sandra is straight—but has, really, really, really bad taste in men. She got burned so many times she decided to try her luck as a lesbian. Unfortunately, she used the same bad selection process that lead her into trouble with men. She picked an egotistical, self centered, controlling, son-of-a-bitch who just happened to have breasts instead of a penis.

Then she starting telling me about this guy who caught her interest who turned out to be gay. “He wasn’t effeminate or anything, who knew?”

I don’t think there’s any requirements for gay men to be effeminate.

“That’s true. You’re straight and you’re pretty effeminate.”

Now-wait-a-minute!! That’s the second time in a month a female of the species has called me effeminate. The first was Deb’s hairdresser who was telling me about her new boy-friend and had said, “he’s not super macho, he’s more effeminate like you.” I blew off this comment because Deb’s hairdresser is notorious for using vocabulary beyond her….intelligence…so she’s often using less-than-appropriate words. She’s a riot to listen to. But triple-S is a smart lady with a Master’s Degree who does not misuse words.

I always thought of myself as pretty macho.

Triple-S laughed so hard she nearly drove off the road.

Now I know I’m testosterone-lite. Which I always viewed as a good thing. Testosterone is an intelligence inhibitor, after all. So I’m not US Marine studley. And they’ll never ask me to a Marlboro Man model. And it is true that strange bimbos don’t follow me down the street, damn it. But there is more to manliness than abs. At least I hope so.

Granted, I have spaghetti arms. But I’ve got nice chest hair (although the young female medical assistants tell me that’s out of fashion right now).

When I told Debbie about the two accusations of effeminateness she got quite prickly. “You aren’t effeminate at all. They are both out of their minds.”

Now is that the gospel truth, or does she not want to face up to being married to the 90-pound weakling of the old comic book ads?

“Neither one of them has ever met a man with a brain before,” snapped Deb.

Ah-ha. Now we are getting somewhere. Could it be that we lack a definition for the evolved male? The guy who is kind, faithful, and interested in things beyond the 24-hour sports channel?

I propose we need to add a new word to our social lexicon. A new definition of manliness. Well, an alternative form of manliness anyway. I think Macho is good for the strong of body sort. Military men. Cowboys. Weightlifters and assorted athletes. Firefighters and cops.

But what about the cranial heroes of science and medicine? Teachers, engineers, artists? Men of mind and soul. Isn’t that manly too?

So I was thinking of Macho-lectual (from macho + intellectual). I also toyed with Intella-macho; but I think Macho-lectual rolls off the tongue better.



Blogger Unknown said...

I'm not sure I like "macho" attached to anything period. Not trusting my somewhat fuzzy recollection of its definition, a quick search on turned up this definition:

1. having or characterized by qualities considered manly, esp. when manifested in an assertive, self-conscious, or dominating way.
2. having a strong or exaggerated sense of power or the right to dominate.

3. assertive or aggressive manliness; machismo.
4. an assertively virile, dominating, or domineering male.

Note the emphasis on domination, aggression, and (less so) assertiveness.

As it relates to the idea of "macho-lectual," there are two ways that I see this going. Either it could be taken to mean the inherent sexism of many 20th century and earlier male scientists towards the work/minds/abilities of women; or, on a more positive note, the increasing acceptability of being a male nerd AND sexually interesting or desirable.

Might I suggest the book "Nerds: Who They Are and Why We Need More Of Them" by David Vanderegg? He puts a social-psychological spin on why nerds are shunned rather than celebrated - I bet you'll like it.

9:09 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

The term I use is 'husband.'

9:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this the same sss Sarah? Are only Sarah's commenting this week?
Macho is not the right word, not sure what is...Y- chromalectual, testost-ellectual, "smart man who is not trying to prove anything, and does not care what other people think"?

3:20 PM  
Blogger Jonah said...


10:57 PM  

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