The Calvary

The Cavalry came charging over the hill, not in the form of a bunch of macho horsemen in blue with swords and guns, but in the form of a message on my voice mail. Would I be so kind as to give Medtronic a call?

My heart pounding in my chest I called. And got voice mail. Crap.

An hour later I call again. Again, voice mail. Double crap.

You gotta be careful in this day and age not to call too many times. Everyone has caller ID and stuff and you can look like a psycho stalker if you call folks every fifteen minutes.

I try one last time at the end of the day. Voice mail. Triple crap.

The next day I discovered another message from Medtronic on my $#%&@# cell phone. These devices are supposed to tell you when you’ve missed a call, but cell phone reception in New Mexico is worse than it is in Egypt. I’ve been playing phone tag.

Ball in my court. I call. An answer! A real live person. A person who asks me…..

Well, I’ll hold you in suspense for moment longer. After all, I had 24 hours to wonder about what was going on at Medtronic. What actually happened never occurred to me as a possibility. They asked me (collective draw of breath from blogosphere):

Would I like to try out the Paradigm system? For free?

Picture me sitting in my office with my jaw in my lap. Unable to move, speak, or say “Yes.” Paradigm is Guardian and Insulin pump in one box. Paradigm is a real time trace of your BG on a screen. No more looking at numbers. Now I would be able to SEE what my BG trace looks like without downloading to a computer. Any time. All the time.

I finally manage to choke out, “Sure.” Then within seconds I need to wipe away the drool. Wait a sec, is there a catch?

No. The deal is there is no deal. The pump and transmitter are review units. From time-to-time Medtronic provides review units to journalists and the like. You know the New York Times. CNN. Me. (Holy Cow!)

I still gotta pay for sensors and infusion sets just like any other diabetic, of course. And I’m still free to say what I will about their products. There is absolutely no oversight on what I write. Zero interference. The Paradigm is not a bribe or a gift (but I do get to use it for as long as I want to). So very little changes. I don’t work for Medtronic. I’m still the guy with too many jobs and not enough cash. But now I have a new toy. Think of it like a publisher giving a book to a reviewer. Just a sorta expensive book in this case….

So….it looks like I’m going to have a lot to talk about after all. So much for my blogging re-retirement. Damn. That Corona and hammock was looking soooooo good. Sigh.

Did I hear bugles and pounding hooves? Hmmmmmm….Nope, but could it be the sound of a delivery truck bouncing up my drive way? Not yet, but I have it good authority that a little ice-blue soldier is packing up his bed roll and getting ready for a FedEx or UPS trip to his new posting on the New Mexico frontier. And I’m going to tell you folks all about it.