LifeAfterDx--Diabetes Uncensored

A internet journal from one of the first T1 Diabetics to use continuous glucose monitoring. Copyright 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016

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Location: New Mexico, United States

Hi! I’m William “Lee” Dubois (called either Wil or Lee, depending what part of the internet you’re on). I’m a diabetes columnist and the author of four books about diabetes that have collectively won 16 national and international book awards. (Hey, if you can’t brag about yourself on your own blog, where can you??) I have the great good fortune to pen the edgy Dear Abby-style advice column every Saturday at Diabetes Mine; write the Diabetes Simplified column for dLife; and am one of the ShareCare diabetes experts. My work also appears in Diabetic Living and Diabetes Self-Management magazines. In addition to writing, I’ve spent the last half-dozen years running the diabetes education program for a rural non-profit clinic in the mountains of New Mexico. Don’t worry, I’ll get some rest after the cure. LifeAfterDx is my personal home base, where I get to say what and how I feel about diabetes and… you know… life, free from the red pens of editors (all of whom I adore, of course!).

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

It now has a name

It is a neoplasm.

Now, you may not know this, but tumors, masses, and neoplasms are all different words for the same thing. They, in the most basic English, are abnormal growths of body tissue. Neo from the Greek for “new” and plasm from the Greek for “growth.” Neoplasm simply means “new growth.” And neoplasms come in two flavors: Black Hat and White Hat.

Black Hat neoplasms are malignant. That means cancerous. Which would be bad fucking news indeed.

White Hat neoplasms are benign. That means non-cancerous. Which would be good fucking news indeed.

My pet neoplasm, according to the pathology report, is wearing a microscopic White Hat. It is benign. Harmless, beyond being ugly. But still, it has to go. You know, before it decides to change sides and become something else. Oh, and I get to choose its method of execution.

I can have it shaved off with a surgical razor. But it might grow back.

Or I can have the little bastard frozen off. But it still might grow back.

Or I can have it excised. Cut out roots and all, once and for all, at the cost of a small scar.

I’m already feeling the rush of joy that James Bond villains must get when planning the super-spy’s demise.

Monty, I choose door number three.

Wednesday after next, right before lunch, it has a date with a scalpel.

5 Comments:

Blogger Marianne said...

Fantastic news Wil. I'll uncross all my fingers and toes now.

3:19 PM  
Blogger Val said...

Whew! Good news indeed.

6:16 AM  
Blogger Bea said...

Glad to hear it's something you can take care of. Best wishes! <3

8:36 AM  
Anonymous Sysy said...

YAY!!!!!!!!! A few of mine have scalpel dates soon, too. My motivation is vanity...sad no? Anyway, glad about your good news!

9:12 PM  
Anonymous Chris Alfano said...

I am a diabetic doing research on low blood sugar. I am looking to collect some data; I would really appreciate it if you could complete this survey. Thanks! –Chris http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/73PGKXN

1:28 PM  

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