Thinking more about lighting and saints

I am freaking the fuck out. What next? Will I be canonized? I mean, come on, three pump failures in a row??? What are the odds? Med-T pumps just aren’t that bad. This is all too crazy to be true.

I’m beginning to feel paranoid.

Of course crazy things happen all the time. Wind set up an insane oscillation on the Tacoma Narrows Bridge that caused it to collapse back in the 40s. The de Havilland Comets crashed in the 50s because the shape of her windows made them more likely to fail—always a bad thing in a pressurized airliner at 36,000 feet. More recently, the drug Ambien has caused people to get up in their sleep and drive naked to 7-11 for a microwave burrito, return home safely, go back to bed, and wake the next morning (refreshed) with no memory of the incident.

So I’m just sayin’, crazy shit does happen. Why, Apple nearly floundered not that long ago; and is now the biggest company in the world. Richer than fucking Exxon Mobil.

But I’ve had 3 brand new Med-T pumps fail in a row. That. Just. Really. Doesn’t. Happen.

I mean, have you ever heard of it happening? Don’t you think you would have heard of it happening if it did?

So what’s going on? Sabotage? Did Animas, OmniPod, or Roche get wind of my impending review and bribe the UPS man to put a big magnet on top of my inbound packages? (Now that I think of it, that guy does look a little shifty…) I very much doubt it, but it would make a great short story if I decide to dip my pen into fiction again!

I don’t believe in hexes, Voodoo dolls, or black magick. I’m open minded about aliens and the Loch Ness Monster, but I don’t see how either of those could be effecting my insulin pumps (Bad Nessie! Bad girl!). I’m not an idiot who doesn’t know how to work a pump. I’ve been using this style of infusion sets for years on my CoZmo—yes, Med-T makes a Luer lock version for non-Medtronic pumps. Sunspots would affect everybody, not just me. And I don’t live in a toxic dump. Near a nuclear power plant. Or work in an MRI lab.

I can’t see how I’m any different from any other pump user, except for, you know… my good looks, charm and wit, and flare with a pen. But that shouldn’t cause pump problems.

I’m just the same as everybody…. Actually… you know…. I just had a horrible thought.

About what might be happening. About how I might just be different.

But…

But…

But… well… I’ve got a Sentry linked to the pump. And not one, but two meters. Sounds crazy—but I wonder if anyone tested that particular configuration?

Surely Med-T tested Sentry with one meter five ways to Sunday. Would they have thought to test the system with two?

Could it make any possible difference?

I wouldn’t think so. But stranger technical gremlins have happened. At least I think they have. Could one extra piece of gear cause a software glitch? Cause Motor Errors? Or cause the alarm for an Motor Error to go off even without a real motor problem present? A false alarm?

Nah. Probably not.

But three pumps! In a row! Really? Seems too crazy to be true. And I don’t think I’m crazy.

Of course, if this keeps up, I might get there soon.