The head
nurse regarded me carefully with her steel-blue eyes. “You’re looking rather
pale,” she said, “How do you feel?”
Actually I
was feeling fine, but when you’re presented with a professional assessment like
that, you’re forced to do a quick inventory.
How do
I feel?
Energy: Check.
Brain Power: Check.
Motivation: Check.
Best test
the sense of humor.
Well, I am
a white guy,
I pointed out.
“There’s a
difference between Caucasian white,” and she pointed a long elegant finger at
me, “and Liquid Paper white. And you look like Liquid Paper more often than not
these last few months. So, really, how are you doing?”
Just a few
weeks ago I was asked the same question, without the pale observation, several
dozen times by various members of our tribe while I was coving the AADE in
Florida.
“How are
you doing?” “How to you feel?” “Are you OK now?” Often followed up by, “I’ve
been so worried about you.”
Really?
How sweet.
Why would anyone be worried about me? Well, probably because my last post was
in May, and it was a bit of a downer.
So here’s
the Liquid Paper update: The last time I checked in with all of you I was
running tired but still able to do all that is required of me, even though everything
took me longer than it used to. Sadly, this is still true. My energy level isn’t
back to what it used to be, may never recover, and I don’t feel it’s improving.
In fact, I frequently feel overwhelmed by all that I have to do, by how fast
the hour hands on the clock spin, and by how rapidly the calendar pages flip.
It’s almost September? Seriously? How did that happen?
For most
of the spring my life wasn’t much of a life. I worked and slept, ate occasionally.
I did lots of drinking of course, because you can multi-task a good Malbec with
almost anything. But it seemed I needed every second of every day to keep up
with the minimums: My thirty hours at the clinic; my weekly column at Diabetes
Mine; my monthly column at dLife; my assorted freelance gigs; and helping out
with the family businesses. Plus my domestic responsibilities: Helping care for
my ailing mother in law, doing the household laundry and 50% of the dishes,
cooking my share of the meals, paying the bills and balancing the checkbook,
and cleaning out the cat box.
And while
doing what needs to be done is satisfying, and work is frequently rewarding, I
was missing a key element of life. I didn’t have time for… well, I wasn’t making time for fun. (There’s never
time for fun in our lives. We have to stand firm, carve out time, and defend it
to the death if need be.)
But for
more than half a year, I guess I was just too sick to have fun.
So I’m
happy to report that I’m starting to enjoy life again. I’m making time for fun
again. Sometimes it’s just little things, like watching Dr. Who on BBC
American, or Sky King on DVD, with Rio. Other times it’s something more
grand.
For
instance, I took Rio to a pottery class this spring…
And we
took in the Blue Angles over at Cannon Air Force Base…
Then got
soaked to the skin…
But it was
all fun. I’m also teaching Rio and to have a healthy disrespect for authority
by breaking into a wind farm for a closer look…
And to
have love of history by visiting a train museum…
And I’ve
started making time for some photography again…
And along
with a group of diabetic college professors (and their Type 3s) I’ve been studying
the perfect bolus for gluten-free pizza, with dark ale, of course.
So now my
goal is to have some fun with whatever extra days on the planet I’ve been
granted, while still earning this T-shirt:
(It’s
always best to know your limitations and not to over-shoot your ambitions.)
How am I?
Well, no matter how pale my skin is, the fact that I feel good enough to make
time for fun should tell you that my soul is now a darker shade of pale. And
that’s a good thing. I’m starting to truly recover.
So,
really, how am I?
I’m doing much better.
Thank you
for asking.
9 Comments:
Good to see that you're back to living life.
That's Rio? He's grown up so much. I can't believe I've been reading you so long. :)
Glad to hear that you're feeling a little more yourself. Seems to me that having fun is a good part of what makes life worthwhile.
Nice column, thanks!
Missed you, Wil.
Great - Thanks for the update - Appreciate your insights and its good to know you are rounding the bend
Glad things are going better.
I understand the energy and the time moving fast.
I missed your writing, too. Your health experience reminds me to appreciate what I do have, every day. I hope that your return to health will continue to make incremental gains and one day you will feel fully recovered.
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Hey Wil
Sorry to hear that you tire more easily. Me too. Maybe it's just age? One can always hope.
Lovely photos, especially that house(?). I'm happy to hear things are going better. I think of you most days as I put on my Tandem pump holder, which works really well.
As for paleness. I'm both Irish and a software engineer. So I've got Liquid Paper skin in spades!
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